I got chris browned last night
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i permit you to call me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
