wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
