Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
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bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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