if only i could text you this smell
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
