im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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