My friends, they love my intelligence
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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