Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize