It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
