Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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