a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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