the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
