Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He shit in the fireplace
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
