I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Farmville is her only friend.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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