i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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