Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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