Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
