sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
