38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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