More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
