You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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