either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
