I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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