the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
there was a trapeze. enough said
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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