I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
