I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Shame is for Republicans.
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