I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
