overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
