Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
