shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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