I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
