so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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