The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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