We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
