this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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