she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
