i already hear my dad disowning me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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