I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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