Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She's the barista slut.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
