worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
