To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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