I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
