kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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