Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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