Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize