what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
