your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
