just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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