Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
