How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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