But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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