woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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