I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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