how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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