Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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