how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
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Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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