i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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