So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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