All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
