is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
