I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't turn off my feet"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
