I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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