god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
